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Haryana, a northern state of India that is renowned on the one hand for its unparalleled and massive economic growth, happens to be equally infamous on the other for its longstanding gender discrimination and devaluation of fairer sex which is manifested in its appalling sex ratio and child sex ratio counts. One of the grave ramifications of decades of female deficits (owing abhorrent practices of female feticide and female infanticide) is that their proportion within the marriage cohorts has substantially reduced in comparison to their male counterparts, thus ensuing the crisis of ‘male marriage squeeze’ (Kaur, 2004; Mishra, 2013; Mukherjee, 2013). Marriage squeeze is a complex situation of one sex outnumbering the other in a matrimonial context due to which it becomes difficult for the preponderant sex to secure suitable companions (Akers, 1967; Verma, 2003). It has left a substantial number of socio-economically disadvantaged men in rural Haryana at the altar of involuntary bachelorhood. 

Male marriage squeeze can be attributed to various demographic and socio-cultural determinants. Demographically, a sheer look at the state's perpetually low sex ratios over the decades suggests that a culture of son preference and daughter aversion is deep-seated in the society. The sex ratio counts of the state for the years 1991, 2001 and 2011 have been found to be 865, 861 and 877, respectively, which is awfully low. While sons are desired for their economic, socio-cultural and religious value, daughters deemed as liability are often subjected to immense discrimination and inhuman treatment which ranges from denial of food and nutrition, education, medical aid, affection etc. to their brutal elimination via female feticide and infanticide (Das Gupta, 1987; Miller, 1997; Clark, 2000). As a result, relatively fewer girls are born in the population which makes the sex ratios increasingly skewed and creates an imbalance in the proportion of potential mates with males outnumbering females (Ahlawat, 2016; Kaur, 2016). Socio-culturally, the customary norms of marriage such as endogamy (marrying within  the specific groups), exogamy (marrying outside specific groups) and hypergamy (women marrying in higher social  groups) further aggravates male marriage squeeze as these prescriptive and proscriptive rules of mate selection place numerous caste, gotra and territorial confines on matrimonial choices, making it extremely difficult for men to find local brides. Along with the afore-mentioned demographic factors and prescriptive and proscriptive considerations of mate selection, there are other socio-economic parameters and individual inadequacies of men which render them undesirable in the local matrimonial context and significantly influence their marital prospects such as their low educational level, unemployment, low income, lack of property and assets, alcohol addiction and drug abuse, being over age, divorced, deserted or widowed, having poor character and criminal backgrounds, etc (Kaur, 2004; Ahlawat, 2009;  Kukreja and Kumar 2013). Men like these, having failed to meet the desired criteria, find it challenging to get married into a community sanctioned conventional marriage. 

The proportion of unmarried men is very high in Haryana. Statistically speaking, the Census enumerations of 2011 revealed that the percentage of never-married males within the age group of 25-49 years was 9.93 in rural Haryana. The proportion of never-married females on the other hand was found to be only 1.25 percent in the given age group. During fieldwork also it came to light that at least ten to fifteen percent of males in the surveyed villages were unmarried in the peak marriageable ages of 28-40 years, and a further increase in this proportion is much more likely if the sex ratios continue to be low, since with every passing year more and more unmarried men will be added to the already existing strained cohorts. It has been projected that between 2020 to 2080 about 40 million additional men in India won’t be able to get married (Guilmoto, 2012). Given the vitality of the institution of marriage for procreation and propagation of family lineage, and, the fact that women are indispensable in the households to carry out various productive, reproductive and care giving functions (Kaur, 2004; Chowdhry, 2005; Ahlawat, 2009); the shortage of local marriageable girls in Haryana is being dealt through ‘cross-region marriages’ where disadvantaged men are bringing in (either by marriage or purchase) complete cultural strangers as brides from distant and economically impoverished eastern or southern states of the country such as Assam, Andhra Pradesh, Bihar, Kerala, Odisha, West Bengal, Tripura, Uttar Pradesh etc (Kaur, 2004; Ahlawat, 2009; Chaudhry & Mohan, 2011; Kukreja and Kumar 2013; Mishra, 2013; Chaudhry, 2016).

Though the migration (and trafficking) of women from distant regions for the purpose of marriage into the villages of Punjab and Haryana did find mention in a report published by Pandey and Kant in the year 2003, it was in 2004 that the term ‘across-region marriage’ was coined to describe these unconventional inter-state marriages by Ravinder Kaur in her pioneer work titled ‘Across-Region Marriages: Poverty, Female Migration and Sex ratio’. From then on numerous studies have been conducted to comprehensively analyze cross-region marriages (Blanchet, 2005; Chowdhry, 2005; Ahlawat, 2009; Chaudhry & Mohan, 2011; Kukreja and Kumar 2013; Mishra, 2013; Chaudhry, 2016; Singh, Parihar and Devi, 2018); each offering a novel interpretation of the phenomenon. While some researchers have labeled these marriages to be cases of ‘bride-trafficking’ (Pandey and Kant, 2003), ‘purchase of women’  (Blanchet, 2005; Chowdhry, 2005) or ‘bride-buying’ (Singh, Parihar and Devi, 2018); for some these represent a ‘new form of commercially mediated marriages involving  payment to middlemen/go-between’ (Chaudhry & Mohan, 2011; Chaudhary, 2016).

Studies show that a large proportion of cross-region marriages are actually arranged through chain marriage migration, wherein, the brides themselves serve as marriage mediators and arrange matrimonial alliances of their female relatives with needy Haryanvi men in search of potential mates (Kaur 2004; Kukreja and Kumar, 2013; Mishra, 2013). In some of the cases these brides do so in exchange for money. The male conjugal kin of the brides such as their husband, father-in-law or brother-in-law make another set of key agents who negotiate marriages (Kukreja and Kumar, 2013). While some of them do it for free and primarily for their kin, others take commission. A relatively small proportion of these marriages are mediated with the help of truck/bus drivers traveling to source regions and migrant laborers working in Haryana (Kukreja and Kumar, 2013; Mishra, 2013; Singh, Parihar and Devi, 2018; Field analysis). The grooms pay them mostly in cash for their help/service. Parents taking money in exchange for their daughters has also been seen in several cases. Along with that incidents of bride trafficking have also been reported in Haryana (Kukreja and Kumar, 2013; Singh, Parihar and Devi, 2018).

Out-marrying isn’t a new phenomenon in Haryana as men (especially from among Jats) have often had marriages with women hailing from neighboring states, however, such marriages are not limited to any one or two caste groups but are happening in most caste groups and also the marital distance which earlier sprang till border areas of neighboring states of UP or Rajasthan has now expanded thousands of kilometers to far off eastern, western or central states of the country (Chowdhry,1994; Kaur, 2008; Ahlawat, 2009). Along with that, these external women not only are from different castes (primarily lower) but in some cases even their religious backgrounds and beliefs are different (Kaur, 2004; Chowdhry, 2005; Ahlawat, 2009; Mishra, 2013). These marriages are driven by necessity for both the source (bride-sending) and destination (bride-receiving) regions. In the bride-receiving regions i.e., rural Haryana, cross-region marriages are being resorted because women are indispensable for procreation, perpetuation of lineage and performing household chores, agricultural labor and caregiving; in the bride-sending regions, it has been found that the families of the incoming women are extremely poor and can’t afford to marry their daughters locally (Kaur, 2004; Chowdhry, 2005; Ahlawat, 2009; Kukreja and Kumar, 2013; Mishra, 2013; Parihar, Singh and Devi, 2018). A suitable local match would require a well-organized wedding ceremony and substantial dowry for the groom that these impoverished families can’t cater. Thus, when Haryanvi men arrive at their regions with ‘no-dowry-needed’ and ‘all-wedding-expenses-paid-off’ matrimonial proposals, the poor parents and relatives readily agree to marry their daughters across long distances as it allows them to discharge their social obligation that too without incurring any cost.

Cross-region marriages entail enormous challenges for the incoming women who find themselves in an alien socio-cultural setting where they have nothing in common with their husbands. On the one hand, the brides get stripped of their well-acquainted physical, social and cultural moorings in which they were born and raised, and on the other they are required to adapt altogether new customs, traditions, behavioral norms, language, food habits and way of life in their marital homes (Chowdhry, 2005; Ahlawat, 2009; Kaur, 2016). Communication barriers owing language differences, shifts in diet from rice to wheat as staple and non-vegetarian to vegetarian meals, strenuous chores, restricted mobility, custom of veil, loneliness etc. are some of the common difficulties faced by these women while trying to adjust and exist in distinct conjugal milieus (Ahlawat, 2009; Kukreja and Kumar, 2013; Mishra, 2013). In the more recent literature on cross-region marriages it has come to light that not only do the brides have to contend the afore-mentioned challenges in their marital homes and host society, some are being subjected to various forms of marginalization, discrimination and domestic violence (Kukreja & Kumar, 2013; Yudhvir, 2014; Ahlawat, 2016; Kaur, 2016; Parihar, 2018; Upadhyay, 2020). Conjugality has become a harrowing reality for several cross-region brides. They are denied respectable status and dignified living conditions. They are exploited, mistreated and abused on a daily basis. Subservience and hard labor is commanded from them (Ahlawat, 2016). Some are victims of racial stigmatization and caste discrimination too (Kukreja & Kumar, 2013). They face sexual abuse at the hands of their husband and other men in the conjugal family, and are forced into polyandry (Yudhvir, 2014). The conjugal families do not give them any recognition and they are forced to live on the sidelines in the khet (fields) (Chowdhry, 2005). They are also refrained from visiting their natal families or maintain any contact whatsoever with their kin and are subjected to exploitation of all sorts (Ibid.). Upadhyay (2020) maintained that the role of these brides range from “sexual slavery to performing hard labor all day, suffering physical and verbal abuse and living a life at the mercy of the men and/or their families who have ‘bought’ them”. The ill-treatment received by cross-region brides in their marital homes is a matter of grave concern which needs to be strongly addressed and the present study is an attempt in that direction.

The present study has been carried out in rural Haryana using exploratory and descriptive research designs. To address the research problem comprehensively and situate it in an appropriate framework, both primary and secondary data have been amply utilized. While primary information has been obtained with the help of interview technique and personal narratives; secondary data has largely been drawn from different books, project reports, journals, research articles, newspapers etc. 

Fieldwork was conducted in two districts of Haryana, namely, Rohtak and Sonipat that were randomly chosen as research settings via lottery method. Three villages each were purposively selected from these districts for the purpose of data collection. The villages taken from Rohtak district were Karountha, Kharainti and Kharkara and those from Sonipat districts were Aanwali, Gorar and Sisana. At last, extensive data on seventy-two cross-region brides was gathered from these six villages through detailed interviews (conducted using  a comprehensive interview guide) and engaging personal narratives. Since there exists no statistical information on cross-region marriages, a sampling frame was unavailable and hence, snowball or referral sampling method made a befitting choice to identify and select the sample for the study. Analysis revealed that of the seventy-two cross-region brides, twenty-four were subjected to extreme forms of marginalization and abuse in their marital homes and the present paper centers around the distressing experiences of these twenty-four victim brides. The tabular presentation of the selected sample is as follows. 

Table 1.1: District and Village wise distribution of respondents 

Districts of Haryana	Villages	Respondents
Rohtak	Karountha	5
	Kharainti	4
	Kharkara	3
Sonipat	Aanwali	4
	Gorar	4
	Sisana	4
Total Respondents	24

Cross-region marriages in Haryana are becoming increasingly common. In some of the villages one can find up to fifty-sixty cross-region brides or even more. Based on the extensive fieldwork carried down in six villages of Haryana, it was found that while some of the cross-region brides can be seen being accepted and incorporated within their marital homes and larger community, correspondingly exist their less fortunate counterparts who are vulnerable and live with zero autonomy. Their struggles do not only comprise adapting to the social, cultural, behavioral and linguistic dissimilarities of their conjugal homes but they also have to endure subjugation, discrimination and domestic abuse. All the twenty-four brides revealed they were facing a regime of extreme violence at the hands of their husbands and other members of the conjugal family i.e. mother-in-law, father-in-law, brother-in-law etc. Ill-treatment against them ranges from volley of derogatory verbal remarks, physical abuse, sexual coercion, polyandry, strenuous domestic and farm labor, and restricted movement. A detailed analysis of their perturbing experiences is presented below: 

Physical Abuse

Domestic violence, i.e., violence at home happens to be the most cruel manifestation of violence that is experienced by any woman. The very house that should be her safe harbor becomes the most unsafe and her own people who are supposed to protect her against all ills perpetrate endless atrocities instead. This has been found true in the case of cross-region marriages as well. All the twenty-four cross-region brides (as indicated in Table 1.2) lamented being subjected to recurrent physical assaults by their husbands, mother-in-law’s and other family members over trivial issues. 

Table 1.2: Distribution of respondents based on physical abuse

Physical Abuse	Respondents
Yes	24
No	0
Total	24

Slapping, punching, shoving, kicking, arm twisting, things thrown at, being dragged by hair etc. were some of the common forms of physical abuse directed against them with the intent to cause harm and ascertain their subordination. As far as the frequency of assaults is concerned, they were bashed as frequently as over a week or two and at times on consecutive days too. Eight of the brides further stated to have experienced merciless beatings even during their pregnancies, causing miscarriages. The reasons behind the battering varied from non-compliance, misbehavior, failure to understand and learn Haryanvi dialect, inability to cook Haryanvi food to any refusal to do chores and lapse in the customary practice of ‘veil’. Excessive alcohol consumption, lack of proper employment and bad mouthing by mother-in-law or sister-in-law were noted as crucial triggers for aggressive and violent behavior of the husbands. As many as eighteen of the brides mentioned that their husbands were chronic alcoholics who under the influence of alcohol would easily get instigated and beat them. 

Sexual Abuse

Physical violence is not the only form of violence faced by cross-region brides at their conjugal homes. They encounter sexual abuse on regular basis too. The brides complained of having no sexual autonomy whatsoever and that they were frequently forced to have sex by their intimate partner.

Table 1.3: Distribution of respondents based on sexual abuse

Sexual Abuse	Respondents
Yes	19
No	5
Total	24

As Table 1.3 indicates, nineteen of the brides stated that their husbands often impose on them sexually. Also, any non-adherence and resistance on their part is met with severe physical abuse and confinement. Three brides shared that their husbands had coerced sexual intercourse with them even within the first week of childbirth. Incidents like these not only reflect on the much evaded issue of ‘rape within marriage’ but also have significant bearing on the physical, reproductive and mental health of the afflicted brides.

Verbal and Emotional Abuse

Verbal denigration and emotional abuse is found to be quite endemic in cross-region marriages. The cross-region brides face discrimination and are looked down upon for being an impoverished ‘outsider’. All the interviewed brides (Table 1.4) complained that they were subjected to verbal abuse and name calling not only by their conjugal kin but derogatory remarks and pejoratives are often used for them within the community at large. 

Table 1.4: Distribution of respondents based on verbal and emotional abuse

Verbal and Emotional Abuse	Respondents
Yes	24
No	0
Total	24

While sharing their ordeals the brides lamented that they were constantly reminded of the fact that they belong to extremely poor families and impoverished regions where they hardly had two square meals a day. They said that their in-laws and husbands often make fun of their parents' abject poverty and inability to marry them locally. In the case of trafficked brides and those who were brought after direct payment to their parents or kin it was also discovered that their husbands and in-laws everyday reminded them that they had been purchased and hence they must comply. Most of the brides mentioned that their husbands and in-law’s used foul language and racial slurs for them, humiliated them in front of others and often made references about their dark complexion. All the brides except one maintained that they never faced discrimination because of their low caste statuses but were taunted for their dark skin, body odor and short height. In three cases it was noted that the mother-in-law’s called their cross-region bahu’s ugly and blamed them for deteriorating their genes.It was further found that these women were deemed as ‘lesser brides’ by the community members and they were pejoratively addressed as molki, paro, and Biharan. 

Forced Polyandry

In the field analysis it has come to light that in some of the cross-region marriages forced polyandry is being surreptitiously practiced. Two of the cross-region brides revealed that they were being forced by their mother-in-law’s to cohabit with their other unmarried/widowed sons and despite knowing everything their husbands never raised a single word of objection. Also, any refusal on their part was met sternly. In two separate cases, it was found that the fathers-in-law had attempted to violate the brides and when they complained against them they were labeled as liars and thrashed for being immoral.

Table 1.5: Distribution of respondents based on forced polyandry

Forced Polyandry	Respondents
Yes	2
No	22
Total	24

It was observed that absence of support from natal families exacerbated their vulnerability to coerced sexual cohabitation. Going back to their native place is not an alternative available to the cross-region brides owing to the stigma that such a move would beget and also because they do not wish to become a financial burden on their already poor families. They continue to bear inhuman treatment and submit to violence for their survival.

Restrictions on Movement and Social Interactions

That numerous restrictions are imposed on cross-region brides vis-a-vis their movement and social interactions in the conjugal settings, is yet another finding which indicates towards discrimination and marginalization of the brides. All the twenty-four respondents revealed that they are confined to the house and agricultural fields. Also, their movements are strictly monitored and constrained by their husbands, mothers-in-law and other female relatives.

Table 1.6: Distribution of respondents based on restrictions imposed

Restrictions on Movement and Social Interaction	Respondents
Yes	24
No	0
Total	24

Surveillance and restrictions are the instruments that are primarily used by marital families to thwart any attempts of escape made by cross-region brides and to ascertain their complete subjugation. They  are allowed to step out of the house only for domestic chores like fetching water and wood, fodder for the animals, to make cow dung cakes, dispose of household waste, farm operations and cattle care. Eighteen of the cross-region brides lamented that they are not allowed to meet, be friends with or talk to other women living in the neighborhood. Their social circles are almost negligible which leaves them extremely isolated in already straining conjugal settings. Sixteen of them further added that they are not allowed to sit even in the courtyards of the house or at the roof unless it is for household chores. Also these brides are not taken to any family functions nor are they allowed to be part of the festivities, marriage ceremonies or other celebrations that take place within the village. Their local sisters-in-law on the contrary are never stopped from taking part in such occasions.

Strenuous Domestic and Agricultural Labour

Yet another disturbing revelation from the field analysis is that cross-region brides in many cases are treated no more than bonded servants from whom arduous labor is commanded. They are overburdened with strenuous agricultural tasks and domestic responsibilities with no help from their mother/sister-in-law’s or husbands. The marital journey of a cross-region bride is a perpetual struggle. All the brides complained of being overworked. They are woken up early and forced to work the entire day without any rest in-between. At times after taxing labor all day long, they are even denied proper food and nutrition. 

Table 1.7: Distribution of respondents based on strenuous chores

Strenuous Chores	Respondents
Yes	24
No	0
Total	24

The cross-region brides can’t dare to say no for anything. Ten of them divulged that whenever they refuse to work, they are starved for days altogether and brutally bashed. The fact that they are sick, pregnant or have had miscarriages/child-birth makes no difference to their conjugal kin. Some of them aren’t even allowed postnatal rest to regain their health. Fifteen brides revealed that they were forced to resume their domestic duties even before they had completed ten days of child-birth. Also during the time of miscarriages and pregnancies, these brides complained of not being looked after properly nor given rest, food and health care. 

No Contact with Natal Family

Another revelation from the field is that restrictions on cross-region brides are so stringent that even the nature of their ties with natal kin is decided and regulated by their husbands or in-law’s. The cross-region brides are not allowed to maintain any contact with their native families whatsoever. Some of them never get to visit their parents or talk to them once they enter Haryana. Of the twenty-four brides, seventeen lamented that they have not visited their hometown ever since their weddings. Also, they are not allowed to communicate with natal kin even telephonically. The cross-region brides are forced to sever all ties with their parents and siblings due to the fear that if taken to their native places they might never return to haryana and also to avoid any trouble from their parents in case they learn about their daughters ordeals. Some of them were not allowed to attend even their parents' last rites. The cross-region brides complained of being extremely lonely as they have no human company and consolation neither in the conjugal region nor from their natal family.

Table 1.8: Distribution of respondents based on contact with natal kin

Natal Kin	Respondents
Contact	7
No Contact	17
Total	24

On the basis of above analysis it can be inferred that various forms of coercion, constraint and violence constitute the lived reality of several cross-region brides in rural Haryana. Their lives have become an unrelenting string of tribulations. They are accorded fairly low status, burdened with exhaustive chores and subjected to extreme violence. Their marginalization can be attributed to a complex intersection of various factors beginning with the very socio-cultural construction of gender which sees women as inferior sex. The systemic inequalities manifested in the patriarchal structures of society are used as an instrument to command their compliance and subordination. In addition, their acute poverty, illiteracy, racial characteristics, outsider (purchased) status and loosening of ties with their natal family puts them in a vulnerable position. The negotiation power of a woman in a marriage relies on her economic independence, literacy and awareness, and support from natal family; all of which strengthens her position and agency within the household (Ahlawat, 2016). In the case of cross-region brides, the fact they are entirely dependent on their husbands, are uneducated, have no awareness regarding their rights or legal provisions, and their natal families are extremely poor which can hardly provide them any support; makes them exposed to marginalization and increased violence. With no one to advocate for them and fleeing not being an alternative, these brides have resigned to their fate and have accepted a highly subservient life as their destined existence. Resistance is rare. 

The marginalization of cross-region brides is a sensitive issue which requires interventions at various levels. First of all, the very phenomenon of cross-region marriages must be acknowledged at both source and receiving regions by the respective governments. Given the absence of statistical data on these marriages, it is suggested that the concerned state governments should conduct extensive surveys in their state to establish a comprehensive database on such matrimonial alliances. Also, while carrying out the survey detailed information must be gathered on the age of the brides, the modes via which these marriages are arranged and the gendered nature of violence that unfortunately several of these women experience in their alien conjugal settings; and policies must accordingly be formulated for their protection. Further, it needs to be ensured that cross-region marriages are duly registered to enable the distressed brides to seek justice in times of abuse and adversity. Campaigns and awareness drives pertaining to gender rights and various legislations relating to women are equally important. Along with that what needs to be strongly addressed is the lack of sensitivity of the parents/kin and their indifference towards the wellbeing of their own daughters. Such parents or kin who indulge in the heinous crime of selling their daughters and other female relatives need to be strictly punished. In addition, the vigilant role of gram panchayats, anganwadi workers and NGO’s (non-governmental organizations) would remain crucial in alleviating the marginalization of cross-region brides and curbing the menace of bride trafficking. While at the native places of the brides, these entities can aim at preventing trafficking and illegal sale-purchase of daughters/girls; at the conjugal regions these can serve to ease the adjustment and incorporation of cross-region brides and effectively address their grievances. Further, bride trafficking must be brought within the purview of anti-trafficking legislations. Above all, a paradigm shift in the patriarchal mindset is vitally important. 

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